Queen: I say Philip, this is too ghastly. Have you seen my pen?
Philip: Can’t help you old girl. Anyway, I thought you’d given up all that diary nonsense and were writing a blog on the Internet.
Queen: Neither of those assumptions is correct, Philip. Despite that, one is not talking about one’s Conway Stewart, but the plastic blue Bic that one keeps to do The Times crossword.
Philip: Well I’m blowed if I’ve seen a Bic floating about here. Perhaps Harry’s gorn orf with it. Using it to add a couple of his pals to William’s wedding list I shouldn’t wonder! That crossword will just have to wait. At least you won’t have to worry that someone else around here is going to finish it for you!
Queen: While that may well be true Philip, any disturbance in the general rhythm of one’s day causes a nuisance. You might recall, for example, the publican in North Dublin who has exhibited an anti-monarchy sign banning one from his premises. While one was not planning to visit his pub anyway on one’s State visit in May, such controversial action simply leads to unnecessary disruption.
Philip: And it's all absolute poppycock! As if you had intended to go to the §%&$ pub!
Queen: At least not before finishing The Times crossword! Are you sure you haven't seen my pen?
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