And today I’m moaning, amongst other things, about the title. Although the show is called Britain’s Got Talent, I think the last thing it’s actually looking for is talent. So many of the acts presenting are loaded with talent but get buzzed off, often before they can even complete the gig. Others manage to finish and have the audience and myself cheering and egging them on, and maybe even one or two judges give them a Yes. But they need at least three Yesses to get through (under the new system, there are four judges) and so they don’t make it through to the next round. What the show actually seems to be doing is looking for a superstar rather than proclaiming that the country has talent. Hell, some of the acts don’t even come from Britain!
In Germany, the local version of this show is called Germany Seeks The Superstar. Well, at least they’re being honest about what it’s all about. And speaking of Germany, one act that last night had me rolling in the aisles, or at least off my sofa, was Dennis Egel, who called himself Dennis Eagle, from – yes you’ve guessed it – Germany. Now I really don’t get how that works. Britain’s Got Talent – And They Went to Germany to Pick It Up. I did honestly think you had to be at least resident in Britain to take part, but Mr. Egel/Eagle claims he flew over on a plane for the show.
At first I thought it was a wind-up and Mr. Eagle was pretending to be German as part of the act. But his accent and slightly incorrect English were too authentic. When he announced that he came from Chermaneee! it seemed that most of the audience actually booed, at which point I almost turned off the TV. Simon Cowell calmed them down in a manner that seemed, at least to this Cupcake, rather insincere, “That was a long time ago and they’re our friends now”. Hey, no kidding!!! The British seem to live in a world of their own, in which they are still fighting World War II. I really don’t think anyone else (particularly Chermans) understand in the least where they’re coming from when they go into their 1940s mode. It’s possible that many British actually think that World War II took place in the 1960s and have been spoon-fed the idea that anyone who doesn’t live on their island and talks with a foreign accent is either evil, lazy or unfairly loaded with cash.
Anyway, Mr. Eagle did his thang and it was incredibly crazy. He also seemed very sweet. I recommend you go and look at it on YouTube (but don’t get carried away over there and get back here afterwards). He scraped through with three Yesses so I’m hoping we’ll see more of him. And the audience went nuts. In a positive way. It just goes to show the mob mentality.Two who were not so lucky and definitely no superstars but in my opinion really talented were Bradley and Barbara, who combined Poetry and Dance, or Dancetry (as defined by new man on the block David Walliams) or Pance (as defined by the Cowellster). Barbara was terribly funny and could probably have done a great stand-up, but everyone ignored that. Bradley, large and complete with a kind of Stetson performed some kind of ballet in the background. Again, Walliams awarded his gold star as it was clearly right up his street, but it was a no show from the others. So poor old Brad and Babs were relegated to the out-tray that is the Britain’s Got Talent Oblivion, or the Exit.
And speaking of David Walliams, yes – he was definitely one of the main reasons I was watching the show. I mean I would have watched it anyway, but let’s say something had popped up at the last minute, like some friend calling up and trying to force me to go out, or a storm so the satellite dish didn’t work, well I would have… I don’t know, somehow I still would have made it just to see David Walliams - or of course I could have watched the repeat this lunchtime, which guess what, I actually did.I am a huge Walliams fan but I was very surprised to see him acting a bit sycophantic towards Powerful Cowellfull. The Cowellster seemed to be lapping it up, but I for one found it a teeny bit cringeworthy. And honestly, Walliams is so brilliant and is reeking with Talent himself, he really doesn’t have to creep around Simon! At one point Wally remarked, “I feel as if I’ve found my family” – so much was he enjoying being on the Talent Team. And a few scenes later, you kind of understood why. Wally’s mum and sister turned up and took a seat with him backstage. Conversation seemed a little undynamic and David looked a bit like my daughter would look if she suddenly became famous and went on TV and the TV people said, ooh let’s bring your mum round.
Anyway, moving on to the Boyle Moment. There has to be one of course. Wally’s mum mentioned it in the short conversation backstage, and made reference to Simon’s face when he first heard SuBo sing – it was a bit odd as she had just admitted that she didn’t really watch the program at all. But perhaps she saw a clip on YouTube. Well, anyway, there was another one. Just about the last act to appear, I think, were two young students, a lovely young girl called Charlotte and a guy called Jonathon with really great hair and quite a lot of weight. And you had the whole setup of Simon’s dismissive attitude – in fact, they even had a subtitle of his words “Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse”.Should have been a hint for the Cowellster when Charlotte said their singing teacher had set them up together. Hello, “singing teacher”! Like, you don’t have a singing teacher if you can’t sing at all, even I know that. Unless you are very rich and have nothing to do. Well of course about two bars in to the song everybody realized that CharJo was the new SuBo. Simon was grinning from ear to ear and doubtless thinking record deals. Wally was smiling a little smile and probably wondering if his mum had seen this one. The two lady judges (Carmen and Alesha, as Amanda was off having a baby) were “blown away”. That’s BGT speak for four Yesses.
And the show had done its job. It sought, and it found! They can cancel the rest of the series. 
1 comment:
Watched it too. And, yes, I think he has his new Subo. But there may be more to come. We need to keep watching.
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