Are You Old? Call Me!

This morning I was driving along on the way to work and just before a green traffic light I passed by an elderly lady who was running to catch the tram. I could see the tram, which had pulled up at the tram stop, and I could see that the elderly lady probably wasn’t going to catch it. I think she realized that too, her body language even from a distance was kind of helpless and desperate. She was quite small and her shoulders were hunched up and she was carrying an elderly lady’s handbag (which I have to say, so do I! maybe not in elderly lady’s colors, but I think the shape has come back into fashion. Those short handles and the structure a bit on the large side).

As I realized that the elderly lady might not be going to make it, a whole scenario of what she would be missing went through my head. Maybe she needed to catch that tram to make a hospital or doctor’s appointment, or maybe to help a friend get to a hospital or doctor’s appointment. I realize now that that was a bit of an ageist way to think, maybe the elderly lady actually had a job and was trying to get to it on time. Either way she was going to be in trouble.

Like I said the traffic light was green, so I had to keep moving, but I kept trying to look out of the corner of my eye to see if the tram driver had spotted her and was waiting. One time I even took a hasty look back, but decided to drop it then, as this was going to turn out very dangerous for the other drivers on the road if I continued. I did also even actually think about turning the car round and driving back to go and pick up the elderly lady and take her to wherever she needed to be.

“Hi!” went the ensuing conversation in my head. “Miss your tram? Don’t worry, jump in! Where do you need to get to? Oh, it’s no problem. I can get anywhere in ten minutes in a car”.

However, it was an awkward junction in the road. I would have been an even bigger danger to other drivers, not to mention the tram itself, if I tried such a maneuver. And it was then I realized what I’d like to do with my life if I won the lottery or even just had enough to be comfortably well off and not have to slave away in my office all day! Apart from writing, painting and hanging out on the Internet, I would like to help old people get about.

Of course, I wouldn’t hang around street corners, at tram stops or outside supermarkets, waiting for them to miss their transport or laden down with unwieldy bags of shopping. I would have to advertise, possibly with a large banner on the side of my car saying something like, Are You Old? Call Me!

If I was old (and I almost am!) I would be eternally grateful if a fairy goddaughter appeared out of nowhere and offered a free taxi service or to pick up my shopping. It would stop me having to hang around in the cold on knees that were in need of a replacement.

And I wouldn’t be taking any of that Oh, I prefer to walk rubbish either. Who prefers to walk! We’ve been having temperatures of minus 17 degrees centigrade here in the last few weeks. I had to take the tram once and I was outside for a whole 12 minutes. I was crying with cold! I was surrounded by elderly people at the tram stop and I was thinking, I really, really don’t understand why I’m the only person in tears here (and they were not those temperature-reaction eye-watering tears either! No sir, they were real ones).

Well, maybe one day I can provide my dream service. I just hope that when I am old, cold and kneeless, a fairy taxi will sometimes materialize out of the blue and help me out.