Camarooned (Queen Scenes Number Eight)

Scene: Buckingham Palace, the dining room. The Queen and Prince Philip are at lunch.

Queen: I say Philip, this is all simply too ghastly for words.

Philip: I’ll say it is! I distinctly remember ordering quiche with a light garden salad and we appear to be eating crab risotto! And some pieces of the crab seem to have gorne orf!

Queen: One’s not referring to one’s luncheon, Philip. The Prime Minister Mr. Cameron has vetoed a new European Union treaty to solve the Eurozone crisis, thus potentially isolating Britain from the rest of Europe.

Philip: Absolute poppycock if you ask me! Need to extend a hand to the old mother country when she’s down on her luck.

Queen: Quite. Although that would be your mother country rather than the mother country of most other people in Britain. It seems that the Liberal Democrats are arguing that Mr. Cameron did not have the full support of the coalition in his decision. However, he argues that British interests need to be protected and that those countries with troubles need to make their arrangements separately.

Philip: Hardly the old team spirit, what? And what did Merkozy have to say to that?

Queen: Both Mr. Sarkozy and Frau Merkl believe that the states of the eurozone need to gain credibility and that there is a risk of disintegration. The PIGS desperately need support.

Philip: I say old girl, steady on! No need to start insulting the aging relatives! Anyway, that’s usually my line.

Queen: Portugal, Italy/Ireland, Greece and Spain, Philip. I do wish you would occasionally call up those links I send you on your I-phone.

Philip: Well, do you think the Euro chappies really need the British vote? They’ll go ahead with a rescue deal anyway, won’t they?

Queen: It would certainly be unfortunate if a further polarization of British politics were the outcome. Surely liaison and collaboration should be our ultimate goals.

Philip: Dash it all, a decent crab risotto would be a start! Isn’t it about time we paid another visit to Milan?