Ask Your Pharmacist (And Be None The Wiser)

I am taking anti-inflammatory medication against pain and inflammation in my broken toe, but I have been told I should take an accompanying stomach-protecting medication. Last night I went to the pharmacy to buy some.

Kanga (plonking packet of anti-inflammatory medication on counter): Hello. I’m taking this anti-inflammatory medication for a broken toe and I’d like to buy some stomach-protecting medication.

Young Female Pharmaceutical Assistant: No problem. We can offer you this one with 14 days’ worth of medication from this manufacturer, or this one with 7 days’ worth of medication from this other manufacturer.

Kanga: Is there any difference?

YFPA: No difference. The active ingredient is exactly the same. It just depends how many you need. How long do you have to take the anti-inflammatory medication?

Kanga: I don’t know. I’ve been taking it for one week, but it does get worse if I leave it out for a day.

YFPA: Hmm. You shouldn’t take it for too long.

Kanga: I know. But how long is too long? Would it be OK to take it for another 2 weeks and use this medication?

YFPA (Staring at computer screen with information about anti-inflammatory medication): Hmm. Anti-inflammatory medication can cause stomach problems, so you shouldn’t take it for too long. But this medication protects your stomach.

Kanga: So it would be OK to take the one for 2 weeks and continue to use the anti-inflammatory medication?

YFPA (Still staring at screen): Hmm. You shouldn’t take the anti-inflammatory medication for too long. This medication helps protect your stomach. It just depends on which one you want, the one for 7 days or the one for 14 days. How long do you have to take it for?

Kanga: Look, I don’t know how long I have to take it for. My question to you is, how long is too long?

YFPA: Good question. Hmm. Well, you have a pack of 50 of the anti-inflammatory medication here. You see, the other medication protects your stomach.

Kanga: Yes, I know. But how long should I take the anti-inflammatory medication for?

YFPA: Hmm. It does cause stomach problems, so you shouldn’t take it for too long… I’ll go and ask.

(Young Female Pharmaceutical Assistant disappears and reappears with Older Male Pharmacist).

OMP: Hello. You’re taking anti-inflammatory medication?

Kanga: Yes that’s right. I have a broken toe.

OMP: And when did you break your toe? Which toe is it?

Kanga: I broke it about 10 days ago. It’s the second toe.

OMP: Have you seen a doctor? Have you had it x-rayed?

Kanga: Yes, but-

OMP: Is it bandaged? Do you have a splint-

Kanga: Look, excuse me. All I want to do is buy some stomach-protecting medication. Your assistant told me that I shouldn’t take anti-inflammatory medication for too long, and I had the impression that she thought two weeks was already a long time. So I asked her how long is too long? Now there’s this fuss!

OMP: There’s no fuss! There. Is. No. Fuss! Let’s just make that clear! How many tablets are you taking?

Kanga: One a day. I was taking two, but now I’m taking one. My question to you is, how long is too long?

OMP: How long! How long is a piece of string?! Look, there are packets of 50 and there are packets of 100. Your doctor has prescribed 50. Some doctors prescribe 100. The dosage is between one and three a day. And if you have 100, you can take the whole 100. And if you have 50, you take the 50.

Kanga: So that means you can in fact take it for 33 days and not have a problem?

OMP: What do you mean?

Kanga: I mean on the maximum dosage of three per day, you could take it for 33 days?

OMP: Look, you shouldn’t take it for too long. How long depends on you-

Kanga: I’ll take the stomach protection for 14 days.

OMP: That’ll be thirteen euros ninety-five.