Your Bed In The Office

This year, I am hot on the acquisition trail. That means that I am trying to acquire new customers by various different means, one of which is not cold callings.

I've always said I can't do cold callings, and I was right! I'm hopeless at them. It's like, I call up a customer, might even get to the right person, and then I don't know what to say. And I'm thinking all the time, that they're thinking, what are you calling me for? What are you trying to tell me? Who are you, and why in the Sam Hill are you bothering me!

So I figured there must be a better way to do this. Us Cupcakes are good at thinking up schemes, so I thought it was only a matter of time before I woke up one morning and had one in my head. And so it came to pass, in fact.



One of the ways in which I try to meet potential customers is to take advantage of the various visits to companies and lectures that I am invited to by networks that I'm in. So a few weeks ago, I went on the first of these visits. It was all very posh and nicely organized, with coffee, good food, good lectures, presentations and tours through the company. And it seems like only managing directors and other big cheeses from companies go to these gatherings, because it is just kind of fun and relaxing, and you get half a day off all in the name of networking. And in fact I did get an order out of it at the end, so it was all worth it.

Only thing was, right at the beginning just after I arrived and was busy networking over a coffee with a couple of managing directors, I saw someone I know come into the room, who is now the managing director of a company in the city. Before he was MD of this company, it used to just be him in his own business (I was never quite sure what he did) and he had an office in our building. He invited me for tea once and he had a large blue leather sofa in the room - he told me it had cost him 1 Euro on ebay and he used to take naps on it every afternoon.

A couple of times I accidentally disturbed him taking a nap on said sofa, it did seem very comfortable. Then one day he became MD of another company that had been in our building for a while, and which seemed to have lost its MD. The chap took his sofa with him to the new company and installed it in his new office. I did some work for this new company, and a couple of times, guess what, I walked in and he was napping on the sofa.

Some life these MDs have!

Anyway, this new company has now moved out of our building and has nice new offices in the city, as I mentioned above. So when he turned up at the networking lecture/luncheon/do, I waved hello and he made a beeline for my table, obviously happy to see someone he knew.

He is a very kind of outgoing chap who laughs a lot and likes to be the center of attention and entertain everyone. So he came over and did that, and took up quite a lot of room at our coffee table, as he is rather a large fellow (tall, not wide, but he still manages to take up a lot of room). And he asked how I was, and I asked how he was, and then I said, not for one second thinking it was inappropriate, or with any hidden thoughts, but just to make conversation, "Have you still got your bed in the office?"

He stared at me for a few seconds, as did everyone else, and then I thought, omg, what have I said! and then he said, "Er yes - but how do you think that sounds to everyone else!" and burst out laughing, to try and cover up everyone's embarressment, I guess. Though it was difficult to cover up mine!

I apologized at least 5 times, and I really wished the floor would swallow me up! But the thing was, he didn't stop going on about it! Every few seconds he made another reference to it, and what people would think, etc. But actually, I'm not quite sure what people would think! Would they think, for example, that he was a lazy old geezer to be snoozing in the office, or would they think that he and I had had a bit of hanky-panky on said bed/sofa? Actually I was more confused than embarressed!

Finally, one of the other MDs standing at our table turned round to him and said, "Actually, you're the one who keeps going on about it! We would have completely forgotten about your bed in the office by now if you hadn't mentioned it so many times!"

Whereupon he shut up about the bed in the office and I thought, I really must remember to keep my mouth welded shut with lipstick next time I come to one of these dos.