Not Committing Suicide

This is an excerpt from my unpublished novel "The Mummy and Daddy Christmas Present Fund"

Friday 24^th October 1975

I didn’t really try to commit suicide. I’d just like to get that straight at the start of this. It is a long story. But maybe I would have tried to commit suicide if I really had been sure that I would manage it.

And I’d also like to tell you right now, if you are thinking of committing suicide, well if you are not 100% sure you can manage it, then don’t bother, because you are going to have a real problem dealing with all the problems of not committing suicide after you haven’t done it, plus you will still be landed with the same problems you had previously which drove you to trying to commit suicide in the first place. So my advice to you is, unless you are completely certain you are going to be successful, just forget about the whole idea.

Le Moulin de Skansen

When I was 18 I ran away to Paris and got a job as a waitress in a posh restaurant on the Boulevard Montmartre.

I bet you did not see that one coming! Us Cupcakes are full of surprises.

The café where I worked was called Le Moulin de Skansen, and was slap bang next door to an old, historic and very respected café that was famous for being the starting point of the original Tour de France. Unfortunately I can’t remember its name, but this café shared its kitchen and thus some of its staff with the Moulin de Skansen, and of course it had the same patron.

Dancing in the Streets

We have had one of our town festivals this weekend. The streets were lined with crèperies and sausage stalls, as well as champagne, wine and beer stands. Live bands played music on a huge stage in the marketplace and smaller stages in the side streets, the river was "set alight" when lights, torches and colored smoke and a fabulous firework display was held on Saturday night.

People come from far and wide to join in the fun, dance in the street and watch the fireworks. Our little town thronged on Friday and Saturday night, and I for one danced the nights away! Last night I was still dancing on the marketplace with some friends till after midnight.

I am also happy to report that my piano playing at the concert yesterday also seemed to be a success. About a third of the way through the first piece, I suddenly thought, what am I so nervous about? I can play this! And turned out I could! It was kind of a good trick that has never happened to me before. Usually I am such a bundle of nerves when I have to do something like that, that I automatically insert a few errors.

It is such a relief to have some positive, happy events like this with the background of the terrible e. coli infection from the strain EC O104 (EHEC) that is rampant throughout Germany, but particularly in the north. We really don't know what to eat any more. And there are, in the meantime, more than 2000 people suffering badly, the hospitals are overfilled, resources are becoming scarce. Nobody knows where this has come from - every time a clue is followed, it turns out to lead to nothing. I wish and hope there will be some abatement, soon.

Piano Piano

A couple of months ago, my piano teacher asked me if I would like to take part in the music school's summer concert, playing two pieces on the piano.

I know! Moi. And I know that I've been keeping very quiet about this. The reason is that I've been getting more and more nervous.

At the time, it sounded quite a long way off, and I said I would be delighted.

In the meantime, it is on Saturday! I have never played to an audience before, except for friends at parties. This is a real serious, grown-up do.

I say that, but I'm guessing I will be the only grown-up actually playing. It is the music school, after all, so it is mostly schoolchildren. The other grown-ups will all be in the audience.

I have one friend coming along, and that does give me some confidence, knowing that she will be in the audience. I will be playing Bartok's Rumanian Folkdance No. 4 and Chopin's Nocturne Opus 9 No. 2.

But the  more I practice, the more mistakes I seem to make. It doesn't make any sense! Should be less, surely. Oh dear, I will be quite glad when it is over, I think. I keep remembering when I failed Grade 4 piano at 15, because I had just over-rehearsed and took the exam about 2 months after I should have done. I really hope there isn't a repetition of that.